02.08.10
Back to Basics

from Foundations Magazine

By age sixteen, Washington had copied out by hand, 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. They are based on a set of rules composed by French Jesuits in 1595. Presumably they were copied out as part of an exercise in penmanship assigned by young Washington's schoolmaster. The first English translation of the French rules appeared in 1640, and are ascribed to Francis Hawkins the twelve-year-old son of a doctor.

Today many, if not all of these rules, sound a little fussy if not downright silly. It would be easy to dismiss them as outdated and appropriate to a time of powdered wigs and quills, but they reflect a focus that is increasingly difficult to find. They all have in common a focus on other people rather than the narrow focus of our own self-interests that we find so prevalent today. Fussy or not, they represent more than just manners. They are the small sacrifices that we should all be willing to make for the good of all and the sake of living together.

These rules proclaim our respect for others and in turn give us the gift of self-respect and heightened self-esteem.

Richard Brookhiser, in his book on Washington wrote that "all modern manners in the western world were originally aristocratic. Courtesy meant behavior appropriate to a court; chivalry comes from chevalier � a knight. Yet Washington was to dedicate himself to freeing America from a court's control. Could manners survive the operation? Without realizing it, the Jesuits who wrote them, and the young man who copied them, were outlining and absorbing a system of courtesy appropriate to equals and near-equals. When the company for whom the decent behavior was to be performed expanded to the nation, Washington was ready. Parson Weems got this right, when he wrote that it was 'no wonder every body honoured him who honoured every body.'"

Here's a few of the rules:

1st Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2nd When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered. Be considerate of others. Do not embarrass others.

3rd Show Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.

4th In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

5th If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside....

25th Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected...

28th If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up though he be your Inferior, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree...

35th Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive...

49th Use no Reproachful Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile...

56th Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'is better to be alone than in bad Company...

73rd Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly...

89th Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust...

98th Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking...

103rd In the company of your betters, be not longer in eating than they are; lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table...

108th When you speak of God or his attributes, let it be seriously & with reverence. Honor & obey your natural parents although they be poor...

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Read this article and all of the rules on the Foundations: Ideas to build your life on web site: George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation

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